Online dating apps such as Tinder have been around for a while now for people who have yet to find their “happily ever after”. I know of several online dating success stories, but the majority will agree that it soon becomes a mundane exercise that is not for the faint-hearted.
Tinder works off of the basis whereby potential suiters are evaluated by their appearance and ability to sell themselves using a short blurb on their profile. The process can be disheartening due to the fact that your self-esteem is directly linked to how many matches you get. In the sense that if you do not get “matches” – you are lead to believe that there must be something wrong with your appearance.
If you do get matches and land some dates but they do not progress any further than that, you begin to question your worth and the likelihood of you finding “the one”. After a few conversations, it can become very repetitive telling people the same intro or answering the same questions over and over again; “For fun I like to … “, “In my spare time I … “, “I do … for a living.” It’s natural to create a list in your mind of the traits a potential partner would possess with the assumption that your options are limitless but this eliminates the chance for chemistry. The point that I am getting to is that because of technology, most choices in life seem to pass through a catalogue system, more options, less authenticity. Take car dealerships as an example, you can now download an app and compare models, pricing and even book your car service without having any human interaction.
The concern that I have with any sort of online shopping, whether it be a new car or a new boyfriend – is that ‘gut feeling’ you get when you meet someone or see something in person. Whether it be trust or chemistry, you sacrifice this to a large extent when browsing lists/catalogues for your wants and needs. When you meet a sales person, you gain instant familiarity and know immediately if you want to continue with the interpersonal interaction for whatever purpose it may serve. The same applies to online dating, everything may look good on paper but until you meet the person face to face, you never really know if there is going to be an instant connection or if your intuition has alarm bells going off, sending you in the opposite direction. Authenticity is lost with the use of technology allowing everything to be catalogued, leading companies and individuals alike to look for ways to stand out in the “catalogue”. Tinder and other online apps promote a certain disconnection which I believe aids in the degradation of authentic connections/decisions.
The only way I see to combat this is by being fiercely you. Be yourself unapologetically and confidently to avoid misrepresentation, whether you are trying to market your services as a company to win over new clients or if you are trying to market yourself in the dating world. Decide what your brand is and what makes you special or unique and use that. There will be people that are not interested because it does not appeal to them. But the ones that do notice you and your brand or what you have to offer will be there knocking because it is a mutual interest or mutually beneficial, and those are the connections you will want to keep and nurture.
Written by Caitlin Ward – New Business Sales and Development Specialist